Surrender

Ok. I'm going to be a big girl and own up to the fact that I've been pouting. I've cried and whined and stomped my feet with my hands on my hips for the last couple of days. I will shamelessly admit that I WANT to move to Australia--BADLY. And I'm afraid God is going to say no.

This morning, I gave in. And before I knew it, I was filled with overwhelming peace and joy. Thank you, God. Victory won. You and me in Australia, or You and me here....either way, I know it's gonna be beyond my wildest dreams because that's the kind of God You are.

I found out later in the day that the peace God has given me is here to serve a much bigger purpose than just taming what I've come to call the "Australia complex." Maybe I'll blog about that tomorrow.

Faithful

I've been praying this morning mostly for peace. Either way, Lord, peace. Then I decided at the urging of my sweet husband to make a conscious choice to stop stressing so much about all this. Not just the Australia thing, but so much going on in my life right now that is beyond my control. By nature, I am a thinker...I think things to DEATH. I'm literally making myself sick over it all, and in turn I'm making him unnecessarily stressed. So I got up and put on my Pandora worship station and heard this song. It's about all I can say for myself right now. Maybe I'll have more later.

Faithful
Brooke Fraser

There's distance in the air and I cannot make it leave
I wave my arms round about me and blow with all my might
I cannot sense You close, though I know You're always here
But the comfort of You near is what I long for

When I can't feel You, I have learned to reach out just the same
When I can't hear You, I know You still hear every word I pray
And I want You more than I wanna live another day
And as I wait for You maybe I'm made more faithful

All the folly of the past, though I know it is undone
I still feel the guilty one, still trying to make it right
So I whisper soft your name, let it roll around my tongue
Knowing You're the only one who knows me
You know me

When I can't feel You, I have learned to reach out just the same
When I can't hear You, I know You still hear every word I pray
And I want You more than I wanna live another day
And as I wait for You maybe I'm made more faithful

Show me how I should live this
Show me where I should walk
I count this world as loss to me
You are all I want
You are all I want

Opportunity and Overload

I know, I know. I fell off the blogging wagon yet again. But there is so much stuff crammed into my head right now that if I don't do something to clear some space, I believe my head really may explode, which would only give me another mess to deal with. So here goes. You might want to hold on.

Jason has been offered a job in Perth, Australia. There...I said it. We actually might be moving to Perth. When Jase told me about the opportunity last week, my initial reaction was shock, followed shortly by excitement, followed shortly by terror, followed shortly by sadness, followed shortly by a million questions, followed shortly again by EXCITEMENT! And that's what's been going on my head constantly for the last week. We talked with the kids before even thinking about giving his boss an answer, and they surprised us by being really excited. So we decided to pursue it to our fullest and let God close doors if He has other plans for us.

There are so many things that need to fall into place before this becomes a reality, so we're trying really hard to temper our emotions either way until things firm up a little more. (This is naturally a little easier for Jase than for me....sometimes I HATE being such an emotionally motivated person.) We've been researching on the internet, talking with several friends of ours who have done the whole "expat" thing to gather their thoughts and opinions, and trying to live life as normally as possible here and now....but mostly we've been PRAYING, PRAYING, PRAYING!!! The very last thing we want to do is pick up our whole lives and move somewhere if God is not waiting there for us when we arrive.

Of the friends and family we've told, the overwhelming majority responds with "What an amazing opportunity for your family!" That's pretty much how we feel most of the time. But I'd be lying if I didn't throw in how terrified we are at the same time. What a HUGE decision to make. The prospect of adventure always appeals to me, and the idea of being on such a grand one with my precious little family is about to take my breath away....but I also have to remember that once we're there...we're THERE. Far from family, far from friends, 13 hour time difference, and as we verified on the in-laws' globe last night, on almost the exact opposite side of the world. I wake up every morning with knots in my stomach thinking of what it would be like to wake up in a whole other country and having to just get up and go about my day like things were normal.

IF the job comes through with suitable terms (still a fairly big if), it's a two-year commitment. Not so long, but really, REALLY long if you're miserable.

Ok, I think that's all I have the energy for right now. Now that I've laid the ground work, I can just blog as my head gets too crowded. I may be blogging a LOT over the next week or so.

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

Jase and I were watching "Jumanji" with the kids after dinner last night. I looked up and noticed we had a surprise guest.

Of course, we knew immediately who it was. But for your benefit, I had to run in the kitchen and get a head shot.

Jason bought me this Greedo figure not long after we got married, and he has held a place of honor in our kitchen window in every place we've lived since. Until last night, I had never noticed he apparently makes a brief daily appearance in the den as well.

Entrepreneurs

The girls have taken on several summer jobs pet-sitting and watering neighbors' yards while they travel. They are thoroughly enjoying having their own money, and it's amazing how quickly the value of a dollar changes when you've worked for it.

Originally, Courtney was working to make money to take cooking classes with a group of her friends like she did last summer. She has earned enough money already to pay for the whole week, but suddenly isn't so sure the class is worth that much money. In case you're wondering, Jason and I are loving every bit of this.

This morning in the car, Courtney was questioning why in the world Hannah would take twenty whole dollars to the movies with her. I explained that if you're willing to keep taking on jobs, you'll have money continually coming in and won't feel so afraid to spend a little sometimes.

At this point, Jake blurts out "Mommy, I have been TRYING to start a very successful massage business, but Daddy WILL NOT pay me a dollar for a massage!"

Let the Adventure Begin...

Well, I decided to sleep on the couch with Jake last night in case he got sick again. (Make that toss and turn on the couch...not the most comfortable couch for sleeping.) At 1:30 I coughed and Jake sat up instantly and said "MOMMY! ARE YOU OK???" I told him I was fine and asked how HE was feeling...."I feel great!" :)

So....I'm back on track for my first day at work today! A bundle of nerves, yes. But I'm walking forward. Like I tell Jake, courage is not the lack of fear...it's doing what scares you even though you're afraid.

Ok, Lord, let's do this!

Really, Lord???

This last week I found myself at a crossroads. To make a SUPER long story short, my flying job has pretty much fizzled out. As God is so famous for doing, He laid the perfect opportunity in my lap. Much the same way He laid the flying job in my lap 7 years ago. I've been asked to work part-time for some friends at their auto shop as a receptionist/office assistant. At first, I was very afraid to take the step, knowing it meant I would be completely unavailable to fly--IF they called. And lately, that's been a ginormous IF. But it has become more and more obvious that God is leading me and my family down a different path for the time being....and it may be a short time or a long time...but I'm always up for an adventure. So after praying with Jase about it and feeling confident that God is in this, I called my friend and took the plunge.

This is a blessing in so many ways. I won't bother to list them all, but just trust me. Or if you really want to know, call me and I'll fill you in. :) To say that I am an adventurer who hates change probably sounds like a huge paradox. But that's me. I have fought nerves all day today knowing my new adventure starts tomorrow. I have prayed and asked God for peace and blessings, and to grant me continued favor in the eyes of my employers (even though they already love me) and my co-workers (who I haven't met yet.) I've asked Him to help me make the most of this new start. I've asked that my children will get along for five hours a day without me until school starts. I have thanked Him repeatedly for a fresh start and the opportunity to help out with the family finances. And for providing this job where I'm already wanted.

When my friend asked me to come work for them, she said "You would be such a God-send to us." Really? She has no idea what that meant to me at a time where I feel I am the blessed one! So I say....BRING IT! I am ready for my new adventure which starts TOMORROW!

Then...Jake came downstairs at 9:00 tonight and puked his precious little toenails up in the kitchen trash. REALLY, LORD??? It's ok. I'm still smiling. But it looks like I'll be delaying my new adventure by a day or two.