Waiting...

We are still waiting for a solid answer on Australia. Jason's boss is talking more about "when" than "if", and we tend to think that if the answer was "no" we'd already have heard that, but we're hesitant to make any physical moves in that direction until we have a more concrete "yes." Meanwhile, we continue to pray only for God's will.

As for me, I'm at this weird place where I know there are so many tasks and errands and appoinments I'm going to need to make in a very short amount of time, but I can't actually start doing anything because we don't even know for sure we're going. Considering that I am about the furthest thing from a task-oriented person God ever created, this is overwhelming in a way I can't even explain. It literally paralyzes me to where all I can do is sit here and stare at the ginormous pile of to-do's and wonder where in the world to start when the time comes. I have a million and fourteen questions and only about 3 half-answers. UGH! Someone needs to tell these people that I did not pray recently for patience!!!

On the upside, God is doing little things every day that seem to be preparing us for the move, IF it happens. On Tuesday, I took Courtney for her follow-up visit to the opthalmologist. Her eye is looking lots better, and we're backing off the steroid drops gradually over the next couple of weeks till we see him again. He said this is something we will have to stay on top of, because if it comes back, we will have to treat it immediately as it's a degenerative condition in itself, and could still be an indication of something else we just don't see yet.

But get this....He just happens to have a connection with an opthalmologist somewhere in Australia whom he's been emailing back and forth with for the last couple years. He's going to contact this Dr and find out what city he's in, and if he's not in Perth, he's going to ask for a referral to a good pediatric opthalmologist in our area that he can confer with while we're there. Coincidence? I think not. :)

Thought For the Day

If we move to Australia, I am going to throw away ALL of our socks and buy new packages to take with us. I am not going to open said packages until we arrive in our new home there, lest any of these new socks decide to make a break for it and leave me like I am now, with 5,000 singles that have no match no matter how hard I look or how many laundry cycles I do thinking the match will turn up eventually.

Why yes...I am doing laundry today. How ever did you guess?

Our own weird version of "24"

My phone and inbox on Facebook are going nuts, so I'm going to blog about it so that I only have to say it ONE more time. :)

About six weeks ago, Courtney (my 12 year-old) came down with what appeared to be allergic conjunctivitis--basically, an eye infection from allergies. It took two visits with a pediatric opthalmologist and three different types of drops to clear it up, but we kicked it.

Last week, it seemed to come back, so we started the drops again. After several days of each of the previous three drops with no results, I took her back to the opthalmologist yesterday afternoon, thinking it was probably good-old fashioned bacterial "pink eye" this time and we just weren't using the right kind of drops. He looked her over and discovered that it wasn't an infection at all, but iritis, which is an inflammation of the iris. Then he dilated her eyes and found that her optic nerve was also inflamed. This was a pretty good cause for alarm because that is often an indicator of bigger things going on in her body, especially in children. I was given a big long list of things it could be...from irritable bowel disorder to Lyme Disease to tuberculosis to sarcoidosis....but the biggest concern was MS. Before we left his office, his staff had made appointments for this morning for an MRI, chest x-rays, and a whole big mess of bloodwork.

I think the Dr. thought I was in denial or something because I just wasn't worried. (If you read my post from yesterday, you'll see why I really believe I wasn't worried. God is good.) I'm not going to say I wasn't scared for brief moments about all the possibilites, but I just kept coming back to an overwhelming feeling of peace about it. I wasn't certain the test results would come back clear, I was just ok with knowing God already knew and would take care of us.

So Jason and I loaded her up this morning and took her to Houston NW Medical Center to have all these tests run. We figured, given the holiday weekend, we wouldn't know anything till we go back to see the opthalmologist on Tuesday. This afternoon, though, he called me to tell me that both MRIs and chest x-rays came back perfectly clear. Praise God! We still have to wait for the blood work to be sure it's absolutely nothing at all, but the MRI was the one he was really worried about.

The plan now is to continue giving her the steroid eye drops (which are already working like a charm) every 2 hours until we see him again on Tuesday morning and pray this never comes back again.

With all that said, it has been a ridiculously crazy month at our house, and I'm ready for a break! Maybe a break in Australia.....hmmmm.

Surrender

Ok. I'm going to be a big girl and own up to the fact that I've been pouting. I've cried and whined and stomped my feet with my hands on my hips for the last couple of days. I will shamelessly admit that I WANT to move to Australia--BADLY. And I'm afraid God is going to say no.

This morning, I gave in. And before I knew it, I was filled with overwhelming peace and joy. Thank you, God. Victory won. You and me in Australia, or You and me here....either way, I know it's gonna be beyond my wildest dreams because that's the kind of God You are.

I found out later in the day that the peace God has given me is here to serve a much bigger purpose than just taming what I've come to call the "Australia complex." Maybe I'll blog about that tomorrow.

Faithful

I've been praying this morning mostly for peace. Either way, Lord, peace. Then I decided at the urging of my sweet husband to make a conscious choice to stop stressing so much about all this. Not just the Australia thing, but so much going on in my life right now that is beyond my control. By nature, I am a thinker...I think things to DEATH. I'm literally making myself sick over it all, and in turn I'm making him unnecessarily stressed. So I got up and put on my Pandora worship station and heard this song. It's about all I can say for myself right now. Maybe I'll have more later.

Faithful
Brooke Fraser

There's distance in the air and I cannot make it leave
I wave my arms round about me and blow with all my might
I cannot sense You close, though I know You're always here
But the comfort of You near is what I long for

When I can't feel You, I have learned to reach out just the same
When I can't hear You, I know You still hear every word I pray
And I want You more than I wanna live another day
And as I wait for You maybe I'm made more faithful

All the folly of the past, though I know it is undone
I still feel the guilty one, still trying to make it right
So I whisper soft your name, let it roll around my tongue
Knowing You're the only one who knows me
You know me

When I can't feel You, I have learned to reach out just the same
When I can't hear You, I know You still hear every word I pray
And I want You more than I wanna live another day
And as I wait for You maybe I'm made more faithful

Show me how I should live this
Show me where I should walk
I count this world as loss to me
You are all I want
You are all I want

Opportunity and Overload

I know, I know. I fell off the blogging wagon yet again. But there is so much stuff crammed into my head right now that if I don't do something to clear some space, I believe my head really may explode, which would only give me another mess to deal with. So here goes. You might want to hold on.

Jason has been offered a job in Perth, Australia. There...I said it. We actually might be moving to Perth. When Jase told me about the opportunity last week, my initial reaction was shock, followed shortly by excitement, followed shortly by terror, followed shortly by sadness, followed shortly by a million questions, followed shortly again by EXCITEMENT! And that's what's been going on my head constantly for the last week. We talked with the kids before even thinking about giving his boss an answer, and they surprised us by being really excited. So we decided to pursue it to our fullest and let God close doors if He has other plans for us.

There are so many things that need to fall into place before this becomes a reality, so we're trying really hard to temper our emotions either way until things firm up a little more. (This is naturally a little easier for Jase than for me....sometimes I HATE being such an emotionally motivated person.) We've been researching on the internet, talking with several friends of ours who have done the whole "expat" thing to gather their thoughts and opinions, and trying to live life as normally as possible here and now....but mostly we've been PRAYING, PRAYING, PRAYING!!! The very last thing we want to do is pick up our whole lives and move somewhere if God is not waiting there for us when we arrive.

Of the friends and family we've told, the overwhelming majority responds with "What an amazing opportunity for your family!" That's pretty much how we feel most of the time. But I'd be lying if I didn't throw in how terrified we are at the same time. What a HUGE decision to make. The prospect of adventure always appeals to me, and the idea of being on such a grand one with my precious little family is about to take my breath away....but I also have to remember that once we're there...we're THERE. Far from family, far from friends, 13 hour time difference, and as we verified on the in-laws' globe last night, on almost the exact opposite side of the world. I wake up every morning with knots in my stomach thinking of what it would be like to wake up in a whole other country and having to just get up and go about my day like things were normal.

IF the job comes through with suitable terms (still a fairly big if), it's a two-year commitment. Not so long, but really, REALLY long if you're miserable.

Ok, I think that's all I have the energy for right now. Now that I've laid the ground work, I can just blog as my head gets too crowded. I may be blogging a LOT over the next week or so.

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

Jase and I were watching "Jumanji" with the kids after dinner last night. I looked up and noticed we had a surprise guest.

Of course, we knew immediately who it was. But for your benefit, I had to run in the kitchen and get a head shot.

Jason bought me this Greedo figure not long after we got married, and he has held a place of honor in our kitchen window in every place we've lived since. Until last night, I had never noticed he apparently makes a brief daily appearance in the den as well.